I will not break…I will not…

Do you just continuously do things that are bad for you? Make the decisions that put you facing the opposite direction of where you want to go? I totally do and it’s becoming more and more apparently to me.

I went through my February life coaching with Rachel Hollis and then revisited my January coaching again. I had listened to the coaching session live in January but had done so while I was working. I even took notes! But when it came to February was I was too busy to even listen so I had to go through the session over the weekend. I realized how much more impactful it was to actually just sit there and be a student vs trying to do 2 things at once. So, I re-listened my January course.

It was like I had never even listened to January! The way everything absorbed and hit me. I’m so glad I spent the two hours this weekend really focusing in on what Rach was trying to teach. But, it also made me realize that since January I had basically made NO movement toward my goal.

The first goal I’d like to work on is getting healthy and fit. I feel like it would be a gateway and a confidence booster for all my other goals. But in my Start Today journal this has been, “The first goal I’m going to accomplish..” since October. And I can sheepishly admit that I have made ZERO freakin’ progress towards this goal. Actually things have gotten worse because my gym membership expired in Feb..so now I don’t even have a gym to not go to!

This kind of ties in with February’s lesson and my biggest takeaway from that was that people don’t accomplish their goals because IT’S HARD. We all KNOW what to do we all know where to find the info/what the steps are to take but we don’t do it! This is SO true for me. Self-discipline is something I am apparently NOT good at. Another huge takeaway for me was anything good that has ever happened to you has probably been through your own effort (one way or another).

What made me write this? Well I decided to simply keep track of my calories today. And I realized that snacking is REALLY not helping any of my efforts. It has made me conscious of how many calories those delicious smores girl scout cookie sitting about a foot and a half away from me actually are. AND YET I am sitting here dying to snack on more.

This is not about cookies and calories though, this is about me constantly letting myself off the hook to the commitments I make to myself. (Rachel also touches upon that in “Girl Wash Your Face”.) But this is exactly why I have not made any movement towards my goal since October and before. And I don’t just do this with food I also do this with finances and even some relationships. “Let it slide…I’ll do it next time…next month…next year…” Next, next, next until 2020 rolls around and I still have the same goals. I’m paying for this coaching but I need to take action and use it.

If I tell myself I’m only going to have two cookies I need to just have those two cookies. I could have saved one and ate it later..but I didn’t. It’s about keeping promises to myself and to yourself. But obviously I have not figured out a magical way to do that at the moment. Hence my struggle.. Though I must admit, writing this out and putting it in my own face has squashed my craving quite a bit.

I think everyone has an area in their life where they KNOW they should be doing differently and they don’t do it. Because it’s just so easy to say, “I’ll do it next time…” I don’t think self-punishment or negative self talk is the answer to this either. How do you deal with this? What have you done to navigate around your weak points? I should have set myself up to win last Friday and not bought the cookies in the first place. But I can’t go back in time…so I can only do better in the future. So that is what I’m really, really, no REALLY, going to try and do.

Maybe I need to improve on keeping promises to myself more than even fitness and health?? Maybe that should be my first goal.

Setting my sights on the future: My experience with Warby Parker

I had looked at Warby Parker frames online before and they also came highly recommended by my co-worker Kate. Their prices also seemed REALLY reasonable. So I decided to visit their store in Glendale, CA.

Let me start of by saying that my vision is pretty bad. I wear glasses every waking hour…unless I happen to be wearing contacts or taking a photo. So you’d think that I would have put a lot of thought into an accessory that I’m wearing constantly… you’d be wrong.

I have been putting off getting a new pair of glasses, literally (this is not an over exaggeration) 3-4 years. My last 2 visits to the optometrist have been shitty.  I had to separate doctors that were rude and left me feeling pretty crappy.

I literally didn’t like my glasses from the moment I picked them up with my prior optometrist. I was trying to get something, “different” but somehow I picked a frame that did not go with my personality/style. For the next 3-4 years I had glasses I literally hated, this didn’t make me feel good in any regard. Maybe I picked them in a hurry because I just wanted to get it over with?

 

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So alas, every year would pass and every month I’d say, “I’ll do it next month, I’ll make an appointment next week” and time would pass and I still wouldn’t do it. But then, 2019 rolled around and I’m REALLY trying to make some changes in how I feel about myself. And this terrible accessory/necessity on my face did NOT fit that bill.

So a few weeks ago, I was sitting at my desk and I said, “F*ck it” and I picked an optometrist simply based on them taking my insurance and being 1 mile from my work. I am happy to say that my experience with this doctor was GREAT. She was super nice and even explained why the visits can be difficult for me. Because my vision is pretty bad it’s hard for me to decipher the nuances when they are trying to pinpoint the prescription. The, “Is 1 or 2 better?” part. That other doctor I went to just made me feel inept because it wasn’t easy for me.

SO, battle 1 was complete. But now onto the war…finding glasses I actually LIKED.

I had looked at Warby Parker frames online before and they also came highly recommended by my co-worker Kate. Their prices also seemed REALLY reasonable. So I decided to visit their store in Glendale, CA.

I found two frames I loved at a base price of $95. Hallie and Oliver were the two designs I settled on. I have NEVER owned two pairs of glasses at the same time but if I was really got to look at this as an extension of my style..then I needed options!

The “Oliver” frame is a smaller frame with a low bridge fit (it does come in regular too) and even though polycarbonate lenses come standard with Warby Parker, because of my high prescription, I had to opt for “high index lenses”. This was basically to insure that the lense wouldn’t be thick and stick out of the frame a ton. That was only $30 extra.

The “Hallie” frame I picked was much larger however, so even a high index lens wouldn’t have been enough to keep the frame thin. So I had to get a “Ultra high index” lenses. That added an additional $130 to the base price. This really gave me pause, especially because you only need one pair of glasses. But I really am set on feeling better in my lenses and less stuck, so I bit the bullet and bought the Hallie frames as well.

This is where things…get a little strange and where my Warby Parker experience took a little dip.

So I pick the glasses, they do all the measurements I pay for them and walk out the store. Super excited that I FINALLY did this! They send all their glasses in the mail, so I didn’t even have to worry about coming back to pick them up. They took all my info including my email and phone number. (Remember that for later.)

We were sitting next door having dinner at Shake Shack and I looked at the account of the card I used because it happened to be a new card. There was no charge, not even an attempt at a charge or a verification of the card. I thought it was strange but shrugged it off, at my job we wait to charge CC’s until a certain point in the day. SO, I thought maybe Warby Parker had a similar system. I happily ate my chicken shack and didn’t worry about it.

SO, we go to Target after and at some point I look at my email and I have an email from the Warby Parker store saying that my card was declined…huh? It’s literally a brand new card. They had already closed at that point but said that I could call tomorrow and give them a new card. I said ok, but I was still bummed, I thought this task was FINISHED.

So the next morning I look and the store opens at 11am. So at 11:15 I’m calling the number that is given for the Glendale store. Only..it sends me to corporate. There is NO way for anyone to call the actual store. Whomp whomp.

Oh, with my email they said they made me an account. And I had even logged into that account when I was sitting in Shake Shack. So, the guy I get on the customer service line asks me for my account email and I give it to him. Then he says, “There is no transaction on here do you have another email?” I said, “No, that’s the one I gave”

Guys my transaction DISAPPEARED into thin air. This lovely man even went transaction by transaction at the store and couldn’t find it. He found the prescription they had entered on my account..but NOTHING else. So poof, my order was gone.

Luckily the lady who had emailed me from the store had mentioned the style names in said email, because I would have NEVER remembered which ones I picked. After like 20 minute search the guy said we could just place the order again on the phone. So we did just that and he was even nice enough to give me a $30 credit for the wackiness.

I know a lot about CC transactions and charging CC’s because that’s what I do all day at work. Guys, that transaction, for some reason was never entered. My card was also never charged initially, because if it had been and had ACTUALLY declined the transaction would have still existed. There was nothing wrong with my card, they lost the transaction somehow at the store and then blamed me. (??) If the order would have went through they would have had my number to call me too.

Ok, so back to the phone order. I get the email confirming my order with an ACTUAL order number (didn’t get that before either) and then to my horror I realize the guy selected the wrong style of frame!

Warby Parker has a HALEY and a HALLIE frame. So when I said Hallie he selected Haley. I even told him the frames I wanted were blue! DOH. So I had to call Warby Parker right back, again, and get them switched.

Finally after the second call..the order was placed! *does happy dance*

I placed the phone order on Super Bowl Sunday February 3rd and I recieved my glasses this past Tuesday on February 19th. They said the longest they’d take would be delivery on the 22nd, so I was ok with that.

 

So how do I like them? I have to say, I love them!! Through all the hoops it was so worth it to finally do this for myself! This is a very strange form of self-care and I am so here for it! I no longer groan when I see my glasses and I would happily give my old pair a viking funeral.

 

So through all that, how do I feel about Warby Parker?

Even though I hit some strange bumps in the road both of the customer service members I spoke to were AMAZING. They were so sweet and very apologetic. I have a feeling this isn’t a common occurrence and more then likely you wouldn’t have to deal with that hoopla if you went to a Warby Parker store. I’ll go out on a limb and say I was the exception not the rule.

The only other thing that kind of sucks about getting them in the mail is that if they need to be adjusted, and mine do, you either have to take them back to the store or another place that sells glasses that’ll adjust them for you.

With all that said I would totally buy glasses from Warby Parker again. I think their frames are stylish and super affordable. Especially if your prescription isn’t as strong as mine, they’re really inexpensive too! I can’t wait until my Haliee’s are adjusted so I can wear them! But my Oliver’s have been awesome too.

“Start Today” journal update and Life Coaching!

A few days ago I learned from Rachel’s instagram that she was going to start a Life Coaching program. It is not one-on-one. She made it clear in her video that she literally has no time to do that, and even if she did I know darn well I couldn’t afford it!

It’s been roughly a month and a half since I began using my “Start Today” journal. I can easily say it’s been an overall positive experience! At first trying to remember which 10 goals I had chosen was tough. But a month and a half later I finally have them totally memorized.

In itself remembering what the 10 goals are is a big deal, think about it! My own brain couldn’t easily recall the top 10 things I wanted to do in life. Each one of these items is super important to me, but I had never put them in front of my face enough to actually remember them. They’d come in and out of my consciousness like flashes, here and there I’d think, “Wouldn’t that be awesome if…” but that was it, after it’d be forgotten. Not anymore!

Listing 5 things I am grateful for is also really wonderful. It becomes challenging when you are pissed off or in a bad mood. I sit their brooding over whatever upset me and then I force my brain to think positively. But after I finish I tend to be every slightly less grumpy.

I do have to admit one thing though, I haven’t been perfect about doing it every single day. There are some days when I have missed it either when I was sick, I kept putting it off and forgot…or I was just in a terrible mood and was laying in bed lamenting. I always start back up though. Why? Because Rachel teaches that imperfection is ok! What matters most is that you RESTART. Don’t let go of it just cause you messed up once. This is what I always have to remind myself, because I am a perfectionist. I hope I don’t miss another day from this point forward, but if I do, I know I can start again.

Life Coaching with Rachel Hollis

A few days ago I learned from Rachel’s instagram that she was going to start a Life Coaching program. It is not one-on-one. She made it clear in her video that she literally has no time to do that, and even if she did I know darn well I couldn’t afford it!

Even still I was thinking, “Oh god, it’s going to be like $100 a month or something”. Because if you follow this space, like I do, you know that these teachers charge A LOT for their info. Courses can easily be in the hundreds or thousands of dollars. So I braced myself and looked at the price. The personal life coaching, which is basically 2 hours a month, is $39 bucks.

That felt do-able. That felt like a realistic thing. I pay $9.99 for Apple Music and $14.95 for Audible every month. How about paying monthly for something that might actually help me move the needle forward in my life?! So what, that works out to $20 an hour? To get guidance from someone I feel really resonates with me? That feels like a bargain.  I pay more an hour to the person that does my hair.

So I bit the bullet, I signed up. Still skeptical mind you…still wondering if this money could be better spent. I have to say, yesterdays session felt COMPLETELY worth every cent. Rachel is just so genuine and raw and imperfect. I freakin’ love imperfection because I struggle with perfection so much. I love anyone who goes out into the world and says, “I’m doing this, I don’t know exactly what I’m doing..but I’m doing it anyway!”

I’m not going to break down what we learned or what our homework was. I’m going to wait until next month and let you know how/if what I learned helped me, what I implemented and what I possibly didn’t get rolling on. To be continued…